Empty Pages

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Blips/pandemic-2

Probably the scariest game I have ever played, yet very enjoyable. I just managed to kill the entire world population. my interest got peaked after reading The Hot Zone, a book about Ebola virus, by Richard Preston. possibly one of the best I have ever read, non fiction and all. Stephen King "the first 10 pages of The Hot Zone are the scariest thing I have ever read, and then it gets worse." and ooooh boy does it, made me paranoid for sure.

Anyone here use Open Canvas still?

A friend and I are trying to do some colab drawing. He is on a mac, myself a PC. He can run virtual PC so that shouldnt be an issue. The problem we are having now is trying to get the damn thing to connect. We are trying to use Warpaint but for some odd reason cant get the server thing to work.

so HELP! Anyone who knows of some networking drawing open canvas (or similar application) let me know.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/06/30/080630fa_fact_gawande?currentPage=all

Warning, HORRIFYING story...


ZOMG THROUGH HER SKULL TO HER BRAIN!?!??!!

Audio download: http://netstorage.discovery.com/dsc/audio/Boomdeyada.mp3.zip

Thankee Benji-ben-ben for posting that today.
I'll be breaking out into random "boom de yadas" for a while.

I've been having a lot of anxiety attacks lately that leave me restless and feeling the NEED to travel. I have also been putting thought into what I really like, enjoy, feel good doing, that I could possibly try to focus on and form into a career. Here are a few things I've come up with so far.

World Travel
Exploration
Diving
The Ocean in general (I think I need to do something dealing with marine life)
Aquariums
Aquatic Marine life.
Hiking
Computers
WoW


Knocking the last one off the list as I am not Chinese and therefore cannot making a living playing WoW *coughgoldsellingcough* that leaves me with an decent list of likes.

The two main elements: Traveling, and the ocean. I simply am happiest when I am in/on/near/around the ocean. Its so mysterious, beautiful, so... full of fish... (kudos if you get the reference)

So I am thinking about a couple possible ideas:
Navy (probably try for a diving division)
Marine Biologist (Sounds cool, have to look into this more)
Oceanographer (same)
Underwater Archeologist
Underwater videographer/photographer (NatGeo maybe?)
????


My list has gotten bigger since two months ago when I was having a hard time coming up with things I enjoy doing.

Any other ideas are welcome! But just a random post on where I sit today. I need to make an effort to update this thing more.

I saw this video a while ago and I keep coming back to it. For several months now in fact, and I talk about it quite often. I think its amazing... simply poetic and just well I cant think of a good word for it.

It really made me realize how distant and closed off people have become from one another. Almost no one does more than give a stranger a fake smile now and then. But have you ever been walking through a store aisle and have a little old lady walk past and give you a genuine smile? Or open a door to let someone walk through and they do the same? One of those smiles that just make you feel good deep down and you cant help but smile back. Those feel so good, it makes me wonder why we lost that connection to our fellow man? Why are so many people afraid to be hugged by people they know, let alone a stranger.

Sometimes I think people just need to feel that contact with another human. An Embrace to just make you feel attached to something. Something bigger than our isolated bubble we are so obsessed with keeping.

The thing that strikes me the most is when Free Hugs gets banned... It REALLY shows the paranoia people have about a simple gesture of good will and caring. But the 10,000 signatures to get it unbanned was warming to see.

I think I'm going to start making an effort, to truly make some sort of connection with a random stranger when I go out. A real smile, a real compliment, a real hand shake or hug. Something to try and connect myself back in with real human beings.

I am such a geek. I play WoW, and create dream avys on gaia

latest one:

Happy feet makes my feet not so happy. The movie itself was not all that funny. A few cute funny happenings get dwarfed by the overwhelming reality and strong messages sent across. Over all not a movie for little kids. After watching it, we came across one major message the movie definitely promoted. Man is the answer to your problems, no gods, beliefs, aliens, or great spirits, exist; it's all man. While I am by no means a major God fearing individual nor do I consider myself Christian, it still kind of bothers me that such a strong message would be shoved across to the intended audience of children. Over all, a bit disturbed and unsatisfied with my movie experience with Happy Feet.

I would like to take this opportunity to simply say

"Damn you Ben and your crazy questions that make me lay in bed at night thinking!"

Past that, Dostoyevski is amazing if you haven't read the Brothers Karamazov yet, do so.

I have been reading so much lately its nuts.

The Sunflower, amazing... strikes a question as to the rights of forgiveness. Read it.

The Hot Zone... simply terrifying... Stephen King said it best: "The First chapter of The Hot Zone is the most terrifying thing I have read in my entire life... and then it gets worse."

It so terrifying, truthful, and alerting to the scary possibilities that threaten the fragility of our reality and existence... read it. You will never got to Africa after.

The war of the ancients (for you Warcraft lovers) is a great trilogy.


Life is simply alright at the moment. Bored to death of WoW due to lack of raiding and progression, working my ass off to get as many hours at work as possible, paying off nearly 1,000 saved up. I have enough to move, just need more to afford a car. Talked to my manager... well more like got caught off guard talkign tohim and stammered to him about what my goals were. don't you hate it when you can't find the words you are looking for when you need to, and someone is staring at you hard and you get all nervous? fucking sucks. he thinks I am crazy am sure now and all kindsa not ready to be anything more than a barista. which sucks, I want shift supervisor so bad... I am a leader lol, and the people who are shifts now SUCK and are total idiots...

one... bubbles... should not be a shift, EVERYONE says/knows it... even the managers... just... they are too nice to let her go lol.

but thus is life, idiots move a head those who are loyal get ass raped.

must read more so now I go.

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=local&id=5179979

he is so cute! I want a coyote to move into my place!

finally downloaded .hack//sign

god I love that anime.

stomach is less ill than it was yesterday,
Watched Pursuit of Happyness with Maurietta yesterday, its soooooo good.

I really want some roasted almonds... wierd.

Things seem pretty ok, almost have tax forms done just need to print out a form and mail it in.

600 bucks back... then if I work things out I should be saving quite a bit from work.

I might have enough to move.

So the doctrine of Hell bites again as it infects the minds of the helpless, and brainwashes people into fearing going against the church. I hate christianity for that single reason. the reason that, you can't think for yourself because they label you an apostate, and depending upon your faction of the massive mind fuck, you are sentenced to hell or eternal death, neither of which seems appealing in the least. I hate how they send people into panic attacks over death because people are afraid that being themselves, and thinking something that wasn't programed into their heads by the church, will gain them a one way ticket to hell. It promots a horrible self image "I am a filthy fuck up, I can't follow His simple rules, why should I be let into his kingdom? I am going to hell and that scares me."

Fuck that, fuck the church, fuck the doctrine that teaches hell. If God exists, how could a being of who is comprised purely of love, allow such a place to exist? No matter WHAT you did or WHO you are, could an entity who loves everything, is of forgiveness REALLY SENTENCE ANYONE TO ETERNAL TORMENT AND DAMNATION? NO that is just FUCKED UP. Sorry, but if he did allow something like that, then he is NOT God.

Dear self, fuck you.
I quit being defeated by myself. Three hours of sleep is not enough to run on for a full day of work. When we have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, please do not go to sleep at 2. Also, when our knee is already messed up, running on pavement and kneeling on the cements is generally a bad thing. Please also do not eat so much dairy and cheese, it makes us ill and in general not healthy. Do your laundry because its piling up, and stop eating out, we are saving money. Chinese food is the devil, but you ate it anyway, and now we BOTH are feeling it. Thanks for fucking me up
Sincerely yours
-me

fuck people who refuse to talk to you for weeks for NO FUCKING REASON. and not just refusing, but blatantly ignoring you, and AVOIDING any form of communication that could let you know anything about where they are. Assholes

On another note, Daria seasons 1-5 are now mine, which rocks.

Had a nice chill night the other night with Josh and Nicky.

Indian guy on the couch is back

Siter is nuts

Friends wedding was the other day, forgot about it... haven't heard much from anyone about it either. Got pis, but they aren't loading..

Almost finished filing taxes, need to figure out this whole form thing... I need to get fresh ink for printer...

I want another chill nigt.

What Will Happen After Your Death? Choose Your Own Adventure from Quiz Galaxy! ... "The devil replies that this is hell, and that he just (contrary to popular belief) loves to party. He gives you a lei and you rush over to the beer keg, where Elvis is the keg master. You spend the rest of eternity going shot for shot with Jim Morrison."

'What Will Happen After Your Death?' Choose Your Own Adventure at QuizGalaxy.com

Memes rock.

shaving sucks,
sister cut off her cell phone (damnit!)
pokemon really DOES get tedius...
WoW also gets boring
have two days off in a row coming up, oh god what do I do?
Bawls is amazing... it made me hyper for hours.
its been mid 90's lately, and its now thunder-storming

for some reason I want soup?

HAHA! I knew it Luby, like you could keep a secret. Mom and Dad will find out by the months end.

Yesterday was simply an amazing day, beautiful, just a happy day. So I celebrated life by going to the mall, walking around reading and munching on Panda Express. Currently reading The Warcraft book "The well of Eternity." Very good and captivating. I also went into borders and read through the manga "The Sunwell Triology" Also VERY good :D Pretty much Warcraft just rules all.

Picked up some food stuffs on my way home tonight and those were yummy. I have money in my savings again! YAY! This is good and makes me a happy Panda. Working my ASS off again, 6 days a week and they want me to work more hours... but I can't because I am already at 40 and well they don't like overtime...

Not much else is new, hopefully this next paycheck will be a good one and I can save more cash. Trying to aim for moving by June or July first. June if I can afford it, and July if I can't.

So I spent three hours today wandering lost to try and find the bus to get to the mall... to buy pokemon.

Bought, original pokemon blue version

I love being a dork.

I think I want panda express... yes I do, that would make me a happy panda.

Luby are you getting a tatt! Ooooo that would be so cool lemme know what you are getting! I am getting another one some time I hope :D

My room is a mess... but panda express awaits so it shall have to stay that way!

So I realized this journal I created to escape the angsty emo of my old journal, has been falling back into that category which is not cool.

I have become a work-o-holic. I have a day off, woke up at 4 am, and thought... I should call the store and see if there is any shift I can go in and cover today.

And yes, I wake up now early... I go to bed, and four or five hours later I wake up completely awake and rested... odd no? I hate days off... they are SOOOOO boring... I mean, what exactly do you do? I am leveling a friends character on WoW, and later will probably go to the mall or something.

Been riding the bus a lot lately, and I kind of like it. I was hesitant at first but ya know, its grown on me. I want to ride it one day all day and se where it goes and what a lot of the people are like, its oddly relaxing and peaceful to watch the city go by.

I have been reading a book, The Sunflower. Which brings me to the current question for thought.
A Jew, during the hollocaust is imprisoned in a concentration camp. Every day he sees and feels tortures, death, pain, hunger, and general abuse of himself and the rest of the Jewish people around him. He knows of the terrors the SS and the armies have unleashed upon the Jewish community of the time.
He is one day brought alone to the side of a dying SS officers bed. There the SS officer relates to him the HORRIBLE murders and acts of evil he has done. At the end of his long gruesome tale he gives only one reason. "I needed to clear my conscience so I could die in peace, I had to tell a Jew, and hope that he could grant me forgiveness."

The book there takes on a new purpose, and asks so many questions. Should this jew forgive the dying SS man, a murderer a doer of wickedness because in his final hour he repents and asks it? Does the Jew even have the RIGHT to forgive him for what was done to OTHER people, does he have the right to forgive this man in behalf of all the jewish community? Can man even hold the right to forgive someone of crimes like these or does that belong only to God. The second half of the book, are letters written by famous and renowned people, telling their views and what they would have done.

so my question to anyone who reads this.
If you were in this man's situation, what would you have done?

There is just something about spending the night watching movies and cooking dinner with a girl that makes everything just seem... right... yeah its something like that.

Oh and Ding level 70 draenei warrior... (Actually dinged a couple days ago... lol, just forgot to mention it.